The Mad Rants of a Raving Genius

The funniest thing happened today. I woke up and climbed out of bed. The air pump for my fish tank was being loud, so I went over to whap it (it gets quieter after that). While over there, I notice the distinct absence of my fish in the fish tank. Now, this is without my glasses on. So, I immediately run over and put on my glasses and run back to the tank. Yep, no fish. By now, I’m mildly disturbed. What could have happened? I doubted that he was abducted by little fishy aliens, so the only thing that could have happened was that he jumped out. This is next to nearly impossible because the tank is covered with the only opening being an equilateral triangle with inch-long sides. However, I’d seen him try once before when he was in “freak-out” mode. So I begin searching the floor, after, of course, alerting my parents to the disappearance of a perfectly good fish. My dad eventually finds the poor bugger stuck to the back of a magazine, right in the middle of a splash of milk on a “got milk?” ad. He was very dead by that time, considering he had most likely made his jump in the middle of the night. Well, perhaps a little after, I was still up at midnight.

Whatever the case, I promptly went out and bought another fish, along with bottled water and some water-conditioning tablets. I know people who have had Betta fish for 4 years, so why can’t mine last past a few months? Damn suicidal fish…