I swear, I will never understand how America, the land of violent sports, R-rated movies, and Playboy, can be so squeamish when it comes to TV. Now, I can get censoring the really heavy stuff, like sex scenes and gratuitous violence and cursing from network channels that are freely accessible to everyone (don’t get me started on what they do to basic and even premium cable), but what they did to the following commercial just takes the cake. The following is the original version, in all it’s glory.
“The most advanced piece of technology you will ever pee on.” Priceless, right? Well, I was watching TV last night (on a basic cable channel, too), and the same commercial came on, but with a slight change in the wording. I can’t find a clip of it online, but the punchline was now as follows: “The most advanced piece of technology you will ever…ahem, you know.”
What the heck? I mean, seriously, are we as a nation so squeamish we can’t stand the word “pee” on television? Ironically, I was watching a TV special that same night on another channel which listed the ever-popular Family Guy episode “PTV” as the second-funniest television show moment. That episode happens to deal with censorship and the song-and-dance number by Peter, Stewie, and Brian illustrates perfectly how weak American stomachs are. It’s not a ding-a-ling; it’s a penis. And you don’t, ahem, you know. I don’t know! That could mean anything! I mean, at least it’s funny in Seinfeld, what with the “master of your domain” and “yada yada yada.” But taking the funniest bit out of a semi-funny commercial because of a three-letter word you hear your little kids saying every time they wake up in the morning is just ridiculous. It’s real life people. If you don’t like to hear it on TV, there’s the remote. I prefer the mute button myself, but the power button or channel buttons are alway good choices.
The moral of the story: don’t ruin it for the rest of us if you can’t handle language (especially when it’s not even that strong). As good ol’ Mark Twain said “Censorship is like telling a man he can’t have steak because a baby can’t chew it.” Oh, and if you’re looking for the FCC song from Family Guy, check it out below.
EDIT: Damn you, Fox, for taking away the FCC song video! I don’t want to have to watch the low-quality subtitled one.