The Mad Rants of a Raving Genius

Banned Books Week is coming up at the end of this month (Sept. 29 through Oct. 6, 2007), which means it’s high time to be hearing about people challenging or banning books because they’re too narrow-minded to understand how censorship is bad.

Being the staunch libertarian I am, censorship really annoys me. I’m rather fond of quoting Mark Twain when he said “Censorship is like telling a man he can’t eat steak because a baby can’t chew it.” Strong, but accurate, words Mr. Twain. Books are usually challenged or banned when someone (or a group of someones) takes offense at the content of a book. Famous examples include Huckleberry Finn (use of the n-word), Catcher in the Rye (excessive obscenities), or even Of Mice and Men (promoting euthanasia), all of which were banned at some point in the United States. You’d think things would have died down in this “enlightened” day and age, but people are still weenies. Less books are banned, but there are still hundreds of challenges (formal complaints to libraries, schools, etc. regarding a book or books) each year.

A rather prominent example this year is And Tango Makes Three, a children’s book based on the true story of two male penguins raising a penguin chick. That’s right: gay penguins. Oh noes! It’s the most challenged book this year, according to the American Library Association’s Office for Intellectual Freedom. Why? Because it apparently advocates homosexuality. First off, it’s a true story. In other words, it’s depicting real life. If you can’t handle that, I hear being a hermit and living in the forest is all the rage. Secondly, even if it’s directly advocating homosexuality, so what? I mean, surely parents wouldn’t be closed-minded enough to be scared their precious baby might turn out to be a flaming homosexual because he or she read a book about gay penguins. Come on. It’s absurd to think kids are going to turn out “wrong” because it’s okay for penguins. Open up a little. Remember how minds are like parachutes.

Anyways, what I don’t get is how parents have to ruin libraries and schools for everyone else. I suppose it’s (barely) understandable how they might want to do everyone possible to prevent their child’s mind from being “poisoned,” but they seem to lack the intelligence needed to realize that they can’t protect their kids forever. They’re going to learn about homosexuality somehow. Better that they learn about it in a positive way than that being gay is the worst possible thing ever and that they’ll go to hell if they even associate with those people. Or are they supposed to grow up hateful and closed-minded? I forget which is the family values view.

Whatever you take away from this post, boys and girls, just remember one thing: if you don’t like a book, don’t freakin’ read it. Better yet, read it first so you realize how silly you were being thinking it was an evil book (I’m talking to you, Harry Potter haters).