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Internships, college, and a rant

Before I begin on another rant (yes, I’m mad about another thing), I’d like to give a little update on my life. Sounds exciting, no? Well, on Tuesday, I went in to talk with this company about doing a little internship thingy with them over the summer. They want someone to design their corporate website, and my work on my own site and the upcoming Burlington-Edison band website apparently impressed them enough to ask me. The problem: I don’t seem to get anything in return. Originally, this type of internship was meant to give students at Skagit Valley College (a community college across the river in Mount Vernon) credit towards one thing or another. Since I don’t attend there (I don’t even do Running Start), I don’t get the credit. And yes, I did check out possible internship->credit programs at UW, but you have to do the internship whilst attending the university, and I don’t plan on doing this any longer than the summer, if even that (it really shouldn’t take me that long to make a website). And I don’t get paid, either. As it is, the company’s only a two and a half man operation (two brothers run the gig and there’s a semi-part-time guy who comes in every so often to drink coffee), and they’ve got boxes all over the place from their freight salvage operation, so I doubt they really can afford to pay me in anything other than coffee and high-speed Internet. Nothing wrong with that, I suppose, except for the fact that I hate coffee. Meh.

In other news, I’m going down to UW tomorrow for the Husky Experience 2006. I get to miss a day of school to hear a bunch of things I probably already knew! Isn’t that fun? Ah, anyways, I probably will learn a bunch of interesting things that I didn’t learn on the campus tour I never took. Heh, I know more about Western than I do about UW, and I’m actually going to the latter. Oh the irony. Or is it irony? Perhaps it’s an extended feminine metaphorical simile indicating the underlying cause of the blog post…agh! AP English is invading my head! Must…escape…!

…I’m back. Now, onto the rant! My target for tonight is good ol’ affirmative action (or as the Brits call it: positive discrimination). To put it in a nutshell (this is for you folks who like to read Cliffs Notes and such), I hate it. I’m white and male, therefore I’m automatically screwed over. Oh, and I’m middle-class (well, lower middle-class, but hey, who’s keeping track?) so that screws me over for a few things, too, namely scholarships.

In essence, affirmative action forces people (say, businesses and colleges) to adhere to a completely insane policy of hiring/admitting a certain number of “underrepresented” groups, such as minorities (blacks, Hispanics, Pacific Islanders, good Scottish tennis players, etc.) and women in order to make up for some historical or overexaggerated socioeconomical differences. I’m really not quite sure why this policy even exists other than to piss people off. Some companies even have quotas as to how many women or minorities they must hire to avoid being labeled racist or sexist. So they are forced to hire underqualified people just to meet the quota. In other words, a Hispanic woman newly immigrated to the country and without an ounce of understanding of the English language or any experience in a work environment whatsoever is more likely to be hired than a perfectly qualified white guy. Okay, that’s a little bit exaggerated. For the most part, qualified individuals are hired over unqualified people. But if a woman or a minority is put in the same applicant group as a white man, and the two people are perfectly identical in skills and abilities suited for the job they’re applying for, the woman or minority will most likely get picked for the sole reason that they’re a woman or minority. Sickening.

Now, I’m not racist, nor am I blind. I realize there are differences between racial groups. Heck, I get that racism still exists in some places. Just a little ways east down Highway 20, there’s a town called Concrete where I’ve seen blacks get chased out of stores for the color of their skin. And with that kind of attitude, I doubt any of those storeowners would hire a black man or a Hispanic immigrant. But what of it? It’s their store; let them run it how they want. Obviously, they wouldn’t appreciate it if the government stepped in and told them they had to hire a certain number of minorities, or something along those lines. Luckily, though, racists are a lot less prevalent now than, say, forty years ago. Good riddance, I say. Anyways, affirmative action merely reinforces the aforementioned differences. Basically, it’s saying that women and minorities can’t get employment or get into college solely on the basis of their qualifications. Instead, they need a little boost because they’re “underrepresented.” Positive discrimination indeed.

Yeah, anyways, I don’t quite remember where I was going with this rant. I’m tired and annoyed at all the kids in marching band who couldn’t stay focused during practice tonight (or at any practice, for that matter). As I keep telling Q, we need a big bottle of Prozac in his office…or tranquilizer darts! Even better! And we could give the gun to Alvin…excellent…

Yes…er, I highly doubt if any of you will understand that. Well, Becca probably would. She knows Alvin. And she knows Francis. That says it all right there.

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Overqualified

Apparently, Lindsay likes pictures of roses just as much as she likes real roses. Good thing, too, because I never have the money to buy her any flowers. It makes me sad not to have any money. And before you tell me to get a job, let me inform you that I’ve applied to almost every place with a “now hiring” sign in Burlington and been turned down by all of them. Including McDonald’s. Yes, McDonald’s wouldn’t hire me. It’s really quite depressing if you think about it…

Therefore, due to my obvious overqualification to work at a fast food restaurant, I am completely and utterly broke. Well, that’s if you don’t include the $20 in my savings account and any pocket change on me, which probably adds up to $2 if you take out all the pennies. So I’m not really broke, but for all intents and purposes (you should see the looks I get when I pay in change), I have no money with which to buy cool things with. Argh.

Well, I finally did something with my uber-cool website. I’ve put up some links to useful programs and websites, and hope to have some simple HTML and Photoshop tutorials online by the end of this weekend. I may not get any work done tomorrow…or Sunday, now that I think about it. Well, if you’re looking forward to any tutorials, I’d advise you to just sit tight and hope for the best. I may end up just explaining what HTML stands for, which is surprisingly a little-known bit of information these days. Psh, kids these days. Wait…

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Mission trip fun

Been a while, hasn’t it? If you didn’t know, I was off in Woodburn, Oregon for the second edition of my church’s week-long mission trip. It was fun, I admit, but I could have done with less little kids and praying. Less of both, I mean. But then again, the lack of scraping paint and washing buildings with bits of denim rags was a plus. Now, if I can find my little journal thing, I will relate the bits of the trip I remember. Note: these are not necessarily in order.

Cast of Characters (B-Unit):
Me (aka Code-Lo)
Sarah Tviet (aka Little Tweet)
Michelle Reichert (aka Mishizzle)
Lindsay Thomason (aka Sparky)
Clayton Farrel (aka Blue Jeans)
Jackie Peterson (aka Jackay)
Mary Brown (aka Da Mar)
Katie Pollatz (aka Special K)
Pastor Mary Bosell (aka El Pastor) <–chaperone
Millie Fosberg (aka Mudda Mil) <–chaperone

“Hide and freak” - I believe it was Wednesday that this happened. Okay, so we were over at Russel’s house (Russel is a member of a Mennonite youth group in Woodburn, cool guy) for a barbeque. It was fun, but eventually we had to leave (duh). That night was clear and dark with a particularly full moon (a large one too, we watched it rise), so Clayton and I freaked out Jackie and Mary (two very easily scared girls). It was the usual stuff. “Oh look, a werewolf!” and “Rattlesnakes can float through cars…” and the like. There was one point where I made a very soft howling noise. THAT got a rise out of the two. That’s not all, though. When we got back to the church we were staying at (Immanuel Lutheran, nice place, easily screwed-up soundboard), the two evil masterminds (meaning Clayton and me) faked everyone out by pretending there was somebody in the church. We simply flashed lights down the stairs and made loud noises and everyone else let their imaginations run amok. It was fun, even if it was later determined that Clayton had told everyone except Mary and Katie, the two of whom later chased us into the bathroom. Ah, good times.

Host families - So there’s this place called Nuevo Amanecer (you Spanish-speaking kids can figure out what that means), which is a major housing development specifically for migrant farmworkers in the Woodburn area (there are a lot of ‘em). We all had the chance to stay with some families in the complex and sort of, I don’t know, “mesh” with the culture. I have to say, in my case, it didn’t quite work out like that. I just went in, ate their food, slept, took a shower, said “grassy-ass” a lot, and left. It wasn’t all my fault, the lady didn’t speak any English and the guy just yelled a lot in the manner that half-deaf dudes yell. Not a life-changing experience, but an experience nonetheless.

Eminem guy - I never saw this guy for myself (although I did see someone who looked amazingly like Vanilla Ice), but the girls in the group were sure some white dude looking like Eminem was following them around on a skateboard and later a “stolen” bike. I don’t know. Those girls…

“Mila-hee”, or “that sodo moto song” - You wouldn’t have guessed it by what Michelle was calling it, but this was really “Dragostea Din Tei”, by O-Zone, also known as the Numa Numa Song. On the way down to Oregon, I put in some my most excellent mix CDs and this song came up. The lives of those in the car at the time would never be the same. By this, I mean they wanted to play the song 24/7. Of course, this is the type of song that you like a lot, but not that much, so I was forced to hide that particular CD in various places in order to preserve the sanity of those in the general vicinity. Besides, they just kept butchering it! “Fetucinni, mozarella! Mila-HEE! Mila-HA!” and so on. No clue where that mysterious “el” sound came from. It’s “miya” for anyone who cares.

Prank phone calls - Ah, one of the best prank phone calls of all time. So, first crank call of the trip, I call Russel. I was planning on pulling the old funeral home trick, but for some odd reason, the following popped into my head:
“Hey, Russel. I saw your profile on MySpace and I gotta say…wow. You’re such an interesting guy. We should hang out sometime and…get to know each other. Call me back. Later.”
This was all said in a creepy stoned/gay voice. Perhaps it’s my subconscious trying to show the real me…just kidding. I’m straight. Straight enough, if the porn on my computer has anything to say about it. Kidding again. Forget I ever said that. Anyways, other prank calls involved a fake funeral home. Invariably, I called someone and said, in the most depressed, drawling voice (think “Beuller…Beuller”) “Rawlings Funeral Home, your loss is our gain,” and continue on with a fake confirmation for an order of some insanely expensive (or inexpensive in some cases) casket. This got a couple threats, and, in retrospect, was a tad bit on the morbid side, but it was funny at the time.

Yeah, there was a lot more, but my fingers are falling off one by one (oops, there goes my left thumb…and my right pinky…dang) and I’m tired from working with my uncle, who I now firmly believe is a sadist. But at least he pays fairly. Seven bucks an hour. I got sixty-three bucks. So that figures out to be…nine hours between today and yesterday. Five yesterday and four today. And I’ll bet there’s more work to come…See, he’s building a deck on his shop and my cousin (the ex-Navy AWOL guy) was supposed to come out and help. He didn’t, so here I am breaking my back (and my arms, and my legs) instead. I hate you, Zach. No, not really. But I’m really going to take up Pastor Mary’s offer on that Pizza Factory job…or Double Barrel BBQ. I don’t care. I just want fair pay, a large chunk of my paycheck, and NO HARD LABOR. That last is a must. I don’t want to get enough money to buy an iPod and a car stereo at the expense of not being able to use them for lack of useable arms.

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Stupid Target

I haven’t posted in a while, haven’t I? I don’t really have much to say. Although, I’ve recently been applying to many, many places trying (in vain it seems) to get a job. Just today I got a card back from Target saying that, although they were glad I applied, they didn’t have a job for me. Waste of paper, I say.

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Really bad eggs

Just got back from Spokane. It was actually pretty fun, for such a long and tiring trip. The being in Spokane bit, not the actual 680 mile round-trip bus ride (only about 340 one-way, but still way too long even for a charter bus…oh my buns…). We didn’t even watch Monty Python like I thought. But at least we watched Pirates of the Caribbean…again (hence the “really bad eggs” in my title). I never get tired of that movie either. Originally, Dodgeball was up on the lineup of movies to watch during the ride, but after some sexual innuendo made by Ben Stiller’s character (I can’t remember which, there are so many…), Q turned it off and stuck in Shrek 2 instead. The man is crazy, I tell you. But then, it only got worse after that (the inflatable “bulge” and the humping the pizza parts…you all know what I’m talking about).

It’s only after we get to Spokane (and after the bus driver drove around for ages trying to get out of the red-light district, which turned out to encompass all of Spokane except for the Gonzaga campus, and even part of that), that we find out that the dumpy hotel we stayed in changed our room arrangements around. That was only the beginning. Fast forward to this morning when we’re checking out. They start complaining that we’re stealing room keys…that they never gave us. Okay, back to Saturday. Dinner at the mall. One of them. I don’t quite remember the name…North-something. Man, it was huge. Two-stories, enough floor space to fit a couple Astrodomes inside…man, I was surprised there wasn’t an ice rink inside. Didn’t compare at all to the Katy Mills Mall in style, but it dwarfed the Mills in size. There was a sweet store that had all manner of odd things in it (no, not Spencer’s). The thing that caught my eye was an interesting little sign that said “World Religions” at the top and then proceeded to list all the major religions. That wasn’t exactly a knee-slapper. What was funny was how it went like this: “Christianity: Shit Happens. Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I Deserved It. Islam: If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage. Buddhism: If Shit Happens, Is It Really Shit?” and so on. Hilarious.

The highlight of the trip happened around this time. Either going back from the mall or going to the mall (can’t quite remember which, all the hot girls sitting around me on the bus muddled my mind), we passed by a street corner. I happened to be staring at this particular street corner just as a guy jumped on it. At first, I thought he was jumping off something, like a bench or concrete thingy. Odd in itself, but when I looked back, he did it again. And again. The dude was just jumping in place for no odd reason! It was hilarious. I would have pointed it out, but it was too late by the time I stopped laughing. Then we passed by a sign that said “Traffic Fatalities in 2005: 00″. I nudged the person next to me and said, “But only on this intersection.” Yeah. Fun stuff.

After that we headed to the hotel to get changed into our uniforms. I find out that my cape is inside my hat box which was under a pile of instruments locked in the cargo compartments of the bus. The downside: rushed cape attachment action at the staging area. The good part: least wrinkled cape in the band. Then we did the parade, yada yada. Do I really need to go on about that? I’d rather not. I’ll be forever scarred. Okay, it wasn’t quite that bad. It was cold and rainy though. And the junior high marching band with wizard costumes and fairies that played the Mickey Mouse song disturbed me greatly. But other than that, not too bad. My uniform is still wet, though. And that’s after I blow-dried it a couple times.

Next stop, the hotel. Not too bad for being on a backroad that had enough potholes to be dubbed Swiss Cheese Avenue, but the rooms were still all weird. There were some rooms with nine people in them. Nine! Of course, those were the rooms that had four beds and a rollaway, but still. My room wasn’t too bad. Two queen-sized beds and a rollaway made for a midget. I got the midget bed. Pretty bad stuff right there, but the philosophical discussions between Scott and Alvin more than made up for it. We were one of two rooms out of a grand total of eight that didn’t get in trouble that night. Probably because we talked and slept instead of ordering pizza and jumping on beds. Now who’re the cool guys?

Then there was the ride home. Not much different from the ride there. I listened to music, slept for a bit, and watched The Italian Job until we arrived home, at which point my bladder was at the point of maximum fillage. And Q wouldn’t let us into the band room (and thus the school, including bathrooms) until a rogue blanket was returned to the bus. Turns out someone thought the blanket was someone else’s and took it with them. It was soon recovered, much to the joy of myself and anyone near enough to me to know that I was in dire need of answering the Call of the Wild. I stood at the urinal for a whole minute. And I still need to go. Accursed half-gallon water bottle.

Overall, I thought the trip was fun. Last parade of the school year. It’s all good. Now I need to see to those 200 emails I got over the weekend…and homework. Yes, of course. How could I forget the major research paper due on Tuesday? The research paper that I haven’t even finished researching…I’m so bad.

Oh yeah, and my birthday’s tomorrow. Go me. Big One-Seven. Now I can work at Blockbuster.

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Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States
Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States