I was just recently introduced to what may or may not be a masterful satire article on Adequacy.org, entitled “Is your Son a Computer Hacker?” If it’s satire, it’s awesome. If it’s real, it’s disturbing. Either way, it makes for a good read.
Basically, the article is written by a father who found out that his son was a computer hacker. He lists out 10 warning signs.
- Has your son asked you to switch ISPs? - Anything other than AOL is for hackers only.
- Are you finding programs on your computer that you don’t remember installing? - Hacker programs include Comet Cursor, Bonzi Buddy, and Flash.
- Has your child asked for new hardware? - If your son wants a processor from AMD, he’s a hacker.
- Does your child read hacking manuals? - “Programming with Perl” by Timothy O’Reilly is out.
- How much time does your child spend using the computer each day? - If your son spends more than 30 minutes online, he’s a hacker and he’s trying to DOS someone’s computer (seriously).
- Does your son use Quake? - Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. Hackers will tell you that it’s just a game.
- Is your son becoming argumentative and surly in his social behaviour? - The Internet has that effect on people.
- Is your son obsessed with “Lunix”? - Lunix is an illegal hacker operating system invented by the Soviets.
- Has your son radically changed his appearance? - Hackers dress in bright, day-glo colors, complete with glow-sticks and pacifier necklaces.
- Is your son struggling academically? - It may be due to computer radiation. And Otaku.
I’m reasonably certain the entire site is satire (along the lines of Landover Baptist), but if anyone knows for sure, feel free to let me know.
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